A few years ago I read this powerful, little book by Don Miguel Ruiz. The book was originally published in 1997 and since then, it translated into 46 different languages.
It was not until three years ago that I met my first Toltec mentor and joyed the Toltec tribe. As an open mind and curious person, I am part of many amazing tribes and the Toltecs changed my personal and professional life at a level I would never expect.
So what are the Four Agreements?
It is a set of spiritual beliefs held by the ancient Toltec people to help transform their lives into a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love. First, the concept of “agreement” means that if you agree with something it becomes true to you. The Four Agreements may seem obvious and simple, which they are but they are not! Many times because of our human mind we get lost and cannot see that is in front of us. We become lost in old stories and let it disturb our life and limit the many possibilities of our happiness and freedom.
The first agreement: Be impeccable with your word
To be impeccable with language means to take responsibility for one’s actions and remain without judgment against oneself and others. Words are a powerful thing, they have the power to hurt ourselves and others. They can transform. They can mean a beginning and an end. Words carry energy, and they need to be honored. It is important for us to be aware of how we use words. What are our intentions? How we use our words to create our reality, we must to take responsibility for that and do not be a victim of ourselves.
The second agreement: Do not take anything personally
As part of our human condition, we tend to take things personally. Even for a trained master it is sometimes challenging.
What does it really mean to not take things personally? Let’s reflect on it. When I look at myself in the mirror I see myself, the way I perceive me. I see a woman 5’4’’, brown hair, I see my shapes and I also see how I do feel about myself. Now the Guacira I see in the mirror is not the same Guacira you see, the way you perceive me is your way to see Guacira. I must do not take it personally the way you see me because it, in reality, is more about you than me. We all have different ways of seeing and feeling, not just emotionally but physically too. My eyes don’t see exactly the same that any other eyes. In the way we are unique. The actions and beliefs of a person are a projection of their own personal reality.
The third agreement: Don’t make assumptions
Again we humans just get in trouble with this agreement. Making assumptions lead us to suffer. When one assumes what others are thinking, it can create stress and interpersonal conflict because the person believes their assumption is a representation of the truth.
We must not believe we know what the other person is thinking, we do not have the power to go inside anybody else mind. Our responsibility is to take care of our own minds. We also should not assume that we are right or that we know the only right way of something, because the moment I assume my truth is the only one and my way is the only one I close myself for so many other truths. There are many other ways and it will only hurt and limit myself. Do not make assumptions, keep the mind of a beginner, keep your curiosity. Most of the time we think we know and the truth is we have not idea!
The fourth agreement: Always do your best.
This agreement allows us to have a better understanding of how to achieve progress towards our goals in life. Doing our possible best helps us to integrate the other three agreements in our lives and push us to live our full potential. It is important to see that life presents opportunities for us in many different ways. We face many challenges. Accept these challenges and the reality of how things are, knowing that we are doing our best sets us free. There is no judgment, but acceptance and self-compassion. We should always honor ourselves doing our best always in order to respect our own boundaries and the boundaries of others. Love ourselves and others, always knowing we are all humans in this world living one day at the time and fighting our own personal battles.
Toltecs also teach that it’s fundamental to listen to the heart. Follow it, honor our feelings, and let them pass through our bodies. Let old stories die and with this emotional dead open space for the more and new growth. Happiness is a choice and our life is limitless. The universe is generous, it listens and brings to us exactly what we need to be our best selves. Even in the darkest places, in the biggest storm, we should not look for “whys’ but find the “hows.” How can I grow from this? There is always something good, wonderful and very precious for us even if it doesn’t look like it.
To be impeccable with language means to take responsibility for one’s actions and remain without judgment against oneself and others. Words are a powerful thing, they have the power to hurt ourselves and others. They can transform. They can mean a beginning and an end. Words carry energy, and they need to be honored. It is important for us to be aware of how we use words. What are our intentions? How we use our words to create our reality, we must to take responsibility for that and do not be a victim of ourselves.
The second agreement: Do not take anything personally
As part of our human condition, we tend to take things personally. Even for a trained master it is sometimes challenging.
What does it really mean to not take things personally? Let’s reflect on it. When I look at myself in the mirror I see myself, the way I perceive me. I see a woman 5’4’’, brown hair, I see my shapes and I also see how I do feel about myself. Now the Guacira I see in the mirror is not the same Guacira you see, the way you perceive me is your way to see Guacira. I must do not take it personally the way you see me because it, in reality, is more about you than me. We all have different ways of seeing and feeling, not just emotionally but physically too. My eyes don’t see exactly the same that any other eyes. In the way we are unique. The actions and beliefs of a person are a projection of their own personal reality.
The third agreement: Don’t make assumptions
Again we humans just get in trouble with this agreement. Making assumptions lead us to suffer. When one assumes what others are thinking, it can create stress and interpersonal conflict because the person believes their assumption is a representation of the truth.
We must not believe we know what the other person is thinking, we do not have the power to go inside anybody else mind. Our responsibility is to take care of our own minds. We also should not assume that we are right or that we know the only right way of something, because the moment I assume my truth is the only one and my way is the only one I close myself for so many other truths. There are many other ways and it will only hurt and limit myself. Do not make assumptions, keep the mind of a beginner, keep your curiosity. Most of the time we think we know and the truth is we have not idea!
The fourth agreement: Always do your best.
This agreement allows us to have a better understanding of how to achieve progress towards our goals in life. Doing our possible best helps us to integrate the other three agreements in our lives and push us to live our full potential. It is important to see that life presents opportunities for us in many different ways. We face many challenges. Accept these challenges and the reality of how things are, knowing that we are doing our best sets us free. There is no judgment, but acceptance and self-compassion. We should always honor ourselves doing our best always in order to respect our own boundaries and the boundaries of others. Love ourselves and others, always knowing we are all humans in this world living one day at the time and fighting our own personal battles.
Toltecs also teach that it’s fundamental to listen to the heart. Follow it, honor our feelings, and let them pass through our bodies. Let old stories die and with this emotional dead open space for the more and new growth. Happiness is a choice and our life is limitless. The universe is generous, it listens and brings to us exactly what we need to be our best selves. Even in the darkest places, in the biggest storm, we should not look for “whys’ but find the “hows.” How can I grow from this? There is always something good, wonderful and very precious for us even if it doesn’t look like it.